helpful Tips and Tricks

How to Respond to Challenging Dementia Behaviors

Caring for a loved one with dementia can be challenging, especially when they experience confusion, distress, or insist on a reality different from your own. Instead of trying to correct them, it is important to respond in a way that acknowledges their emotions and helps them feel safe. Here are four key steps to effectively manage difficult dementia-related behaviors.

4 Steps to Determine How to Respond

  1. Avoid Trying to Convince Them of Something They Don’t Believe
  • Arguing or correcting their perception can cause frustration and distress. Instead, meet them where they are in their current reality.
  1. Provide or Ask for an Explanation That Makes Sense to Them
  • Instead of contradicting them, offer a reassuring explanation that aligns with their perspective or ask them to share what they believe.
  1. Validate Their Emotions
  • Acknowledge their feelings and let them know that their emotions are normal and understandable.
  1. Redirect Their Attention Once They Are Calm
  • After their emotions are settled, gently transition to a different activity to help them focus on something positive.


Situation #1:

Dealing with the Loss of a Loved One



Scenario: Your mother asks whether her husband is still alive, despite his passing years ago.


How to Respond Using the 4 Steps:

  1. Since she is explicitly asking about her husband's passing, she may already suspect the truth.
  2. Because she is aware of the possibility, it is appropriate to confirm that he has passed away.
  3. Validate her emotions by acknowledging her grief and reassuring her that it is okay to feel sad.
  4. Observe her reaction—whether she is mourning or feeling relief—before transitioning to another activity, ensuring she is calm first.


Situation #2:

Wanting to Go Home to Care for Children


Scenario: Barbara, a 94-year-old woman, insists she must leave to take care of her young children, even though her children are now in their 70s.



How to Respond Using the 4 Steps:

  1. In Barbara’s reality, she is 30 years old, and her children are small. Her belief is deeply rooted, and contradicting it will only upset her.
  2. Instead of correcting her, provide an explanation that makes her feel at ease, such as telling her that her children are safe with a trusted caregiver.
  3. Validate her feelings by recognizing her concern for her children’s well-being.
  4. Once she feels reassured, gently shift her focus to a different conversation or activity to help her feel more at ease.